Author: The main creative group · pig mother
Friends said that the semester just over, his son had been "complained" by the class teacher twice.
It turned out that after the third grade, friends would give their children some pocket money every week.This is a good thing for children to learn to dominate money reasonably, but a few days ago, the class teacher called and said:
Children "invite guests" every day, there are several in the class now.Children, when you see him enter the small sales department, will follow the past.
When he heard this, his friend couldnt laugh and laugh.
Because the last time his son was "complained" because he helped the classmates to write homework, and received 10 yuan per person!It was this that he decided to give the child pocket money.
This is good, not earning classmates money, and start to spend money again.
I comfort my friends, this does not just prove that the child is good and the popularity is good!
As a result, friends still said very worried:
I am complacent when I have a little grade. I gave me all the moths in a day. I am really afraid that the junior high school management cant control it! "
Parents generally believe thatThe children who study hard are "reliable". Like a "crazy monkey" a day, there must be problems in the future.
We want children to abide by the rules, focus on learning, and do not allow them to do any "rebellion" ... In fact, they are asking children with the standards of adults.
There is a point of view in childrens development psychology:
The child is not smallAdults, we should not interpret childrens behavior, motivation and psychology, which will only cause misunderstandings to children.
A child is reliable, can there be a chance to be in the future, not to judge by "observing the rules" and "good learning".The performance of scores and knowledge is more important:
p>Many parents adhere to a principle: If you do something wrong, you should criticize it.But too much criticism will also eliminate childrens energy.
Compared to only staring at the childs "wrong behavior", we must pay attention to the good "state" and "motivation" behind the behavior.
My friend, the reason why worry and anxiety is that the childs behavior is too uncontrollable and unconventional.
But we can see a little from another angle, and we can see that this is actually a energetic and vibrant child-
When his parents did not give him pocket money, he did not complain about his parents and asked his parents, but actively thinking about your ideas;After getting pocket money, he did not just care about himselfInstead, they generously invited students to play and eat together.
Behind this is not the "snobbish" and "precocious" of our adults, but children to "actively" solve demand and manufacture fun.
The philosopher Sulor said: "The most encouraged fact is that humans can take the initiative to work to enhance the value of life."
If a child is abundant and can actively do things, then he has this ability to continuously improve the value of life.
He can explore knowledge by himself and expand the boundaries of his ability;
A tough and invincible person.
Isnt this the "reliable child" that our parents want?
So, later, my friend did not stop the child tough, but expressed his understanding of the child.
He told the children and the teachers concerns, and at the same time left him the space for thinking and decision.
Not long after, the son took the initiative to terminate the inappropriate behavior, and even said to my friend:
It doesnt make sense to get a friend. " , Will care about peopleA few days ago, know a mother.Her daughter is in the second year, and she is excellent in all aspects, but she is very worried.
It turned out that her daughter did not like to participate in the competition. When she was a child, she could still coax and cheat. Now the bigger, the more they dont like to compete with others.
Once she took her daughter to participate in a dance contest, her daughter was talking about how good others were, and she didnt care about her preparations.Play ...
She thinks that the child is too simple and has no sense of competition at all. It is difficult to be competitive to the society in the future.
In todays fierce social competition, parents will inevitably "anger their children" because they are afraid of their children.
But if you always compare children, you will create a single atmosphere with only win/losing mode.
Children will think: Self -worth, can only be achieved by comparison and competition.
Lost stable self and increase a lot of emotional burden.
Stephen Kewei said that life is a stage of cooperation, and real life needs to be dependent on each other.
Today, it is no longer a successful society that can be successful in a single shot. Many of our dreams need to cooperate with others to achieve it.
The world is large, and everyone has enough room for a foothold.We do not need to educate our children, and treat others as their losses.
If a child can see the advantages of others, he will care about people, which has both kindness and strong ability to communicate.
Isnt this the reliable characteristics of "win -win"?
I have my own ideas, know how to know myselfThe child of our neighbors house is 10 years old, and she has been studying dance for 6 years.
But one day, she suddenly told her mother that she did not like dancing at all, and she didnt want to learn anymore.
When the mother hears it, of course, it doesnt work. After so long, the money is spent. The key is to pay so much effort.EssenceMoreover, giving up halfway, shouldnt.
So, the couple bitterly persuaded the child to say that they had no effect, and began to launch the people around them.
Later, the child thrown directly, "My own thing, I decide myself, my life does not need dance!"
My neighbor concluded: "The child has his own ideas, and it may not be good."
Yes, when the child is no longerWhen listening to our words, parents will inevitably have some sense of loss and crisis.Worried that the child is out of himself, it will be difficult to affect him in the future.
But Wu Zhihong said that greatness started from offending.Because great means innovation, innovation needs to destroy old things and old rules.
The resistance of the neighbors daughter is that she breaks through the old relationship, the old environment, and the beginning of the new self.
One has his own ideas and knows how to affirm his child. In fact, he has bid farewell to the blind obedience. He already has confidence and energy to be "responsible" in the future.
Even if this power is weak and immature, as long as the parents take good care and guide, he can discover his own world sooner or later.
If any difficulties are willing to tell my parentsSeveral children were fighting at the school. The teacher criticized each child, and then said, "This situation will be the next time, I will ask your parents to ask your parents! "
Everyone thinks that such a scene is reasonable?
But if you think about it, you will find that "asking parents" is a "deterrent" for children?
I saw a paragraph before:
I hope that after your child is broken, the first reaction is not "After that, my dad will kill me this time, but "it seems that I need to call my dad." After the child is smashed, the first reaction is not "dead, you have to scold you again", but "I really want to disperse with my mother." I hope your childs first reaction is not "alas, you must be said to be deserved again", but "the movie tickets can only be bought by my dad in the future."
Many parents believe that children will definitely tell themselves when they encounter problems.
But the fact is that the child will judge the parents response to the matter based on the experience of getting along, and then decide whether to let the parents know.
In recent years, the news of young peoples depression and suicide has become more and more frequent. Many parents ask:
How do I judgeDoes your child have such a tendency?
How to prevent the emotional problems of adolescent children?
In fact, the harmonious parent -child relationship is the greatest guarantee of emotional health.
If your child encounters any difficulties, he is willing to tell you, then congratulations, you can rest assured:
Because, this shows that your family already has a "reliable" child with a happy and secure sense of security.You are already a "reliable" parent who is understanding and emotional stable.
Everyone is a polyhedron, as is the child.
Many parents are distressed by their childrens academic performance, worry about childrens rebellious tossing, and worry about the future destiny of the child ... In fact, they have not seen it. In childrens behavior, many people have flashed many people.The characteristics.
Here we summarize the 4 important performances of childrens reliable reliability here, and also want to remind parents:
Each child is a unique individualThey all have their own competitive aspects.
We dont always look at the children with a closed vision, let alone judge the children easily.
Respect the child, see the valuable side behind the childs "unreliable" behavior, encourage him and carry forward it.
Children can grow into a truly "reliable" person.
